5:53 PM

Goya's Ghosts

I just watched Goya's Ghosts, and it was fantastic.  I've always loved Fransico Goya - especially his darker work, which is showcased in this movie.  It's probably a mixture of my morbidity and passion for atheism, but they are truly beautiful works.  I recommend it to everyone.


Also, Javier Bardem is incredibly talented at playing 'the bad guy' I've noticed.  However, my observance of his work only extends to this film and No Country for Old Men (which I also loved, probably due to my love of violence and passionate drama).

Well, after watching Klimt the other evening (which I also adored, maybe my love of the female figure) I have created a goal for myself this winter break:  watch a bunch of art-related movies.  This should be fun.  If anyone has any suggestions, let me know.  I'm accumulating a list right now.  I have been away from movies for far too long, because of all the stress this last semester!

If anyone would like to watch some with me, I'd love to have the company.

7:32 AM

On a Slightly Less Intelligent Note...

So, I've been watching a lot of programs about space travel lately... especially involving Mars.  I was also suffering from the monthly (seasonal in my case) disease that only women get, and started thinking... How do women menstruate in space?  Strangely, this morning I logged onto facebook and someone posted a link to a site that explained it all:


http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2827/how-do-female-astronauts-menstruate-in-space

I'm done with my finals in a few hours, and most likely will be bored out of my mind later today.  So, look forward to a random post about my views on genetics.  Also, I just watched a Today Show segment with Carrie Fisher - she apparently just came out with a new book called Wishful Drinking.  I want it.

5:04 PM

Gender in Japanese Buddhism: Images of Kannon

I haven't posted on here for a while...  Would you like to read a not-too-long, but incredibly genius paper?  It's mine... so I warn you I might've gone a bit overboard on the 'genius' part... but I'm very, very proud of my baby.  I read a lot of primary sources for this (alas, I did not get a chance to cite them, as my paper would be too long for the class requirement), and also did a bit of original research.


I wish there was an easier way to post documents... damn you internet for failing me this one time. 



Gender in Japanese Buddhism: Images of Kannon

Introduction

Medieval Japanese society viewed women as a negative product of their biological and spiritual pollution, yet their female Buddhist deities are viewed as unambiguously positive. In order to become enlightened females had to transcend their female characteristics and become male (Pandey 325). This sexual transformation is ostensible in figures of the Bodhisattva Kannon, who was generally perceived as a female bodhisattva, but often retained male characteristics (Faure 360).

Women in Japanese Buddhism
Buddhism in Japan was not easily accessible or incredibly tolerant of women. In order to be ordained as a nun women had to follow the Eight Strict Rules, which made them subordinate to all monks, regardless of their own rank (Faure 23). Subservience was a common factor in all relationships to women in Japan – in childhood they must be subservient to their parents, then to their husbands, and then to their sons after the death of their husbands (Faure 62). Also, Buddha hood was believed to be impossible for a woman to reach unless she was first reborn as a man (Pandey 325).
In both Shinto (Japan’s native religion) and Buddhist beliefs women were seen as impure due to taboos concerning menstruation and childbirth. The vile product of these events, blood, was considered to pollute the earth and anger the earth god. It was even believed that women who died in childbirth (a horrible taboo of both blood and death) would be sent to a level in Buddhist hell where they would forever swim in the menstruation of women (Faure 69). These taboos concerning women and their impurity did not allow for women to enter many temples. Most of the temples they were allowed to enter were dedicated to Kannon (Faure 237).
However, women were not completely seen in a negative light. In the collection of stories titled Kankyo no Tomo (A Companion in Solitude), written by a monk by the name of Keisei in 1222, several women are shown in a moral light and used as examples for Buddhist women. These women triumphed over what were called the Seven Vices of Women (they arouse men, are jealous, deceitful, vain, attached, have uncontrolled desire, and are the source of foul events like menstruation, pregnancy, and child birth). Paired with the Seven Vices were the Five Obstructions of rebirth for women – they could not be reborn as Brahma, Sakra, Mara, a cakravartin, or a Buddha (Pandey 326). These moral tales by Keisei often tell of women who triumph over their innate obstacles in order to aid men in reaching enlightenment. In one tale, a well-respected monk falls for a beautiful woman. In order to cure his delusion she removes her make-up, slathers her clothing in blood, and paints her body in order to create the illusion that her body is rotting. The monk then thanks the woman for alerting him to the illusion of appearances and becomes enlightened (Pandey 326-9). However, the duality implied by these vices and obstructions, which create gender difference, are against Buddhist doctrine, which would state that these are not innate qualities, as all states are illusionary and arbitrary.
Women were also seen as a positive force in Buddhism in the form of “Jade Women”. These women performed similar duties to the woman mentioned in the Kankyo no Tomo above. They transmitted the sexual desire of men in order to allow them to be reborn into the Pure Land. Kannon was often depicted as a “Jade Woman” who would come to monks in their dreams. This is often seen as part of the bodhisattva Kannon’s vow to save all beings (Faure 205-7).
The Bodhisattva Kannon and the Lotus Sutra

Kannon is the Japanese bodhisattva of compassion and mercy and is intrinsically tied up with the Amida Buddha and the idea of the Pure Land (Edmonds). The Bodhisattva Kannon appears in the 25th chapter of the popular Lotus Sutra. In this chapter it shows her thirty-three transformations that she undergoes in order to save all sentient beings – this is Kannon’s pledge. If one simply recites the name of Kannon they will be saved from the seven misfortunes (fire, flood, wind, weapons, demons, punishments, and thieves) as well as the three poisons (greed, anger, and ignorance) (Tanabe 1989).
She is also well known for her ability to remove obstacles, and was thusly revered by women for she had the ability to remove the five obstacles that kept women from attaining enlightenment (Faure 66). As mentioned above she was also seen as a “Jade Woman” who would satisfy the sexual desires of monks in order to aid them in attaining enlightenment. This would either happen in their dreams, or in the form of a woman or young boy seen as an avatar of Kannon that would have preformed sexual acts upon them (Faure 205-7).

Gender Depicted in Images of Kannon
The common forms of Kannon that are depicted are the eleven-headed Kannon, 1000-armed Kannon, white-robed Kannon, true form Kannon, and the Nyoirin Kannon. The white-robed cannon is the form most often connected to the feminine. Kannon can often be identified as having the Amida Buddha in her crown (Edmonds).
Kannon is often described as female, however images of her often retain many male characteristics. This may be due to the fact that it was believed that a woman had to go through a sexual change and attain a male-like body in order to achieve enlightenment. Thusly, maleness is a prerequisite for enlightenment (Pandey 325).
 

Fig. 1 Nyoirin Kannon, ca. 1250-1330, wood with lacquer and gilding, Art Institute of Chicago.  Photo courtesy of the author.


Fig. 2 Nyoirin Kannon, early 9th Century, colored wood, University of California San Diego.  Photo courtesy of ARTstor.


Fig. 3 Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara in the Form of Chintamanichakra (Nyoirin Kannon), early 14th Century, Cypress wood with pigment, gold powder, and cut gold leaf, Asia Society Museum.  Photo courtesy of ARTstor.


Nyoirin Kannons are one of the most common images of Kannon (fig. 1, fig. 2, fig. 3). The Nyoirin Kannon is named for the magical, wish-granting jewel she holds in her hand (Bogel 30). In figure 1 the jewel was lost. The figure appears feminine in her face, delicate fingers, and hair. However, the chest is quite flat and masculine. A similar aesthetic can be seen in the Nyoirin Kannon of figure 3. However, this Kannon points upward, perhaps identifying the Buddha and his teachings as the true jewel of Buddhism. The Nyoirin Kannon in figure 2 displays more feminine traits and is one of the earliest images of Kannon. The feminine qualities can be best seen in the figure’s eyes, which seem to linger between sensuality and a realm beyond it. This is most likely due to the fact that it is an esoteric Buddhist image, and embodies the mysterious ideals of several esoteric sects in Japan (Bogel 34). The multiple arms in the case of the Nyoirin Kannon are used in order to convey all of Kannon’s specific attributes and mudras. Her aspects include the wheel, a pink lotus, the jewel, and a rosary (Getty 55).



Fig. 4 Kannon, the Bodhisattva of Compassion, 14th Century, Japanese cypress with gold and inlaid crystal, Museum of Fine Arts Boston.  Photo courtesy of ARTstor.


Fig. 5 1001 Images of Thousand-armed Kannon, ca 1173-1256, lacquer, gold leaf over wood, Sanjusangen-do, Rengeo-in, Kyoto.  Photo courtesy of ARTstor.

The arms in the 1000-armed Kannon (fig. 5) are used in order to convey her ability to aid and save all living beings, as stated in the Lotus Sutra. In order to do this she would of course need many arms (Getty 55). The figures in figure 5 convey a large amount of femininity in their alluring body proportions and posture. The bodily proportions of these figures are reminiscent of Indian Yakshini figures, which represent fertility. They also appear to have slight breasts and incredibly feminine faces. These same qualities can be seen in the true from Kannon in figure 4.


Fig. 6 White-Robed Kannon (Byaku-e Kannon) (detail), early 15th Century, ink on silk, Asia Society Museum.  Photo courtesy of ARTstor.


Fig. 7 Suigetsu Kannon (White-Robed Kannon) (detail), 17th Century, ink and colors on silk, Philadelphia Museum of Art.  Photo courtesy of ARTstor.

Figure 6 and figure 7 are details from examples of white-robed Kannons. The white robed Kannon is believed to represent Kannon’s paradise, one of the many different pure lands that existed in Pure Land Buddhism (Ford 35). Both examples show feminine figures, however figure 6 seems much more feminine and elderly. They both have a floral tattoo on their chests, however figure 5’s appears much more abstracted and looks almost like chest hair. Even though these images are still slightly androgynous, they present much more obviously feminine qualities.


Fig. 8 Kannon the Merciful Mother, Kano Hogai, 1888, silk and pigment, Tokyo National Museum of Fine Arts and Music.  Photo courtesy of ARTstor.

The images examined of Kannon appear to form a trend of feminizing the bodhisattva over time in Japan. This trend can be seen continuing on into later images of Kannon, even on into the 19th century in Kannon the Merciful Mother (fig. 8). This image is both feminine in the physical depiction of the bodhisattva, as well as her nurturing and motherly aspects that are alluded to in the image.

Conclusion

The overt maleness seen in images of the Kannon is a reflection of the Japanese society that crafted them. Buddhist women in Japan needed to overcome several supposed obstacles of femininity to even consider becoming serious members of the Buddhist faith – even then it was not believed possible for most women to reach Buddha hood or become a bodhisattva. Regardless of this Kannon was perceived as a female bodhisattva and became one of the most venerated of all the bodhisattvas in Japan. The rising popularity and feminizing of the bodhisattva Kannon may have lead to the gradual acceptance, and even admiration, of many female Buddhist figures and sanghas in Japan.


Works Cited

Bogel, Cynthea J. "Canonizing Kannon: The Ninth-Century Esoteric Buddhist Altar at Kanshinji." The Art Bulletin 84 (2002): 30-64.

Edmonds, Richard Louis et al. "Japan." Grove Art Online. Oxford Art Online. 18 Nov. 2008.

Faure, Bernard. The Power of Denial - Buddhism, Purity, and Gender. New York: Princeton UP, 2003.

Ford, Barbara B. "The Arts of Japan." The Metropolitan Museum of Art Bulletin 45 (1987): 4-56.

Getty, Alice. The Gods of Northern Buddhism. Rutland, VT: Charles E. Tuttle Company, 1962.

Pandey, Rajyashree. "Women, Sexuality, and Enlightenment: Kankyo no Tomo." Monumenta Nipponica 50 (1995): 325-56.

Tanabe, George J., and Willa J. Tanabe, eds. The Lotus Sutra in Japanese Culture. University Of Hawaii P, 1989.

Watson, Burton, trans. The Lotus Sutra. New York: Columbia UP, 1993.


Well... that was a pain and a half to fix up to post.  I hope if anyone reads it, they enjoyed it thoroughly.  Also, if you have any constructive critiques I'd be more than glad to hear them, as I plan on fixing this paper up to make it longer and lovelier.  I intend to make this a major piece of my undergraduate portfolio.

Also... please do not steal my work, as it will sadden me.

7:04 PM

Adil is Silly

8:33 PM

Baroque Classical Music, Roger Fry, and Henri Focillon

I am currently enjoying some Baroque Classical music a la Pandora.  I haven't really listened to much classical music in a while.  Baroque was always some of my favorite - the passion is explosive!  I used to fall asleep to music like this in my Pre-Derek age.  Some find it a bit too fiery to fall asleep to, but for some reason it just melts my worries and relaxes me.  Also, the pure abstraction that exists in just melody alone is very freeing... I love rock music and various other kinds, but this is different - and in that difference it is fantastic.


I would like to fall asleep to music like this again, but I doubt Derek would like that much.
But, as for the title... I have been listening to this music while reading my Art Theory... it really helps in blocking out the noises of my apartment (mostly the incredibly loud brothel in business above me) while at the same time relaxing and focusing me.  It's lovely.  My Art Theory selection for tonight was Roger Fry's Vision and Design, 1920, Henri Focillon's The Life of Forms in Art, 1934 and a study of Alfred H. Barr's 'The Development of Abstract Art', 1936 (A chart that shows the development of styles during this time of modernism).

I just feel good ^^

Also, tonight's episode of Heroes was incredible, like it always is!  I just can't wait for next week.

My favorite song I heard on Pandora tonight was Busoni's Toccatas (I believe that is what it is called).  I just love that song.

8:05 PM

Vice Presidential Debate

So... I just watched the Vice Presidential Debate.  I'm pretty politically apathetic - I'm slightly liberal, and usually identify with the Democrats.  But... what the fuck?  I can't even start to take Palin seriously.  She is an insult to all those with a vagina (who take said organ seriously).  And the incessant winking!  Anyone who even slightly sees her as an alternative to Hillary Clinton is an idiot - plain and simple.  She refuses to use specifics in her arguments, and just uses buzz words constantly.  She's like a walking, talking marketing device.  She was also too much of a pussy to mention her ACTUAL feelings on civil rights for homosexuals.  I'm just hurt as a woman right now...

5:54 PM

HALLOWEEN EMERGENCY!!!

I am having an emergency!  I need a Waloli/Wa-Lolita costume for Halloween!!  But I suck at sewing... and Steve's too busy... and they're SO expensive!!


If anyone can find a cute one that's under $70, let me know, please!!! ^^;  Otherwise I don't know what I'll do ;-;...  I've googled for HOURS!  I bet Adil could find one (this is a *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* kind of moment).

Otherwise I will give up this weekend and butcher my own... =_=

6:28 AM

...Why?

They put a cubs hat on the Picasso statue at Daley Plaza....


....=_=

3:42 PM

Visit with the Surgeon...

Well, I had my meeting with a surgeon today about the 'lymph node'.  He examined it thoroughly (which hurt) and then decided it was a bit high to be lymph node.  He is pretty sure it's a cyst.  My mom then mentioned the lymphoma in my family, and then he proceeded to feel up all the lymph nodes in my body (even the groin!  Exciting!).


He told me the pain is due to the fact that the cyst lies right over a nerve that goes over my head.  He also said it might be slightly due to strain because of all the reading I do.  But, he didn't want to remove it, because he believes it to be benign.  In two months if it doesn't go away he wants me to come back.

But... why would I get a cyst, you ask?  People get cysts all the time, but this one is more related to infection.  He asked me if I had any sores or lacerations on my head... which I said 'no' to, but then remembered all the cuts on my head due to this horrible compulsion I have to pick my head... thus resulting in pretty deep cuts sometimes.

But, it's still all good.  I just don't know what to do about the pain in the mean time because pain killers haven't been helping much.  I've been trying meditation and relaxation techniques.

On the plus side, I did get to come home and play with halloween things.... though, I have an exam tomorrow and lots of things to do, but I'm just so stressed :\...

My mom bought this 3 foot tall zombie butler who's eyes light up and he says weird things.  He also holds a candy dish.  He was quite the steal for $25 at Jewel.  I bought some lights and bloody clings.  I need more stuff.  

Oh, and the zombie butler's name is 'Nigel'. 

Hopefully my bestest friend, Steve will be making me a wa loli costume ^^  Yeah!

11:33 AM

Lindsay and Derek's Cleaning Service

So... apparently I've started a new business.  And apparently it's a not-for-profit!  It's main role is to eliminate the ridiculous messes that our roommates create without any responsibility on their part.  But, the best part is that they are so talented in their mess-making that they are able to undo our work within minutes of their return.  When a confrontation is attempted we are usually told that they are 'too busy' or that our place 'doesn't need cleaning'.  Which really only further attests to their ultimate piggy-ness.

And I'm not really worried about them reading this and whining and/or bitching - because as I mentioned before they are far too busy to clean up after themselves, and therefore far too busy to read my blog.  The only person who really reads it is Troy, and strangely I am not upset at his piggy-ness this time (mostly because he is absent this weekend...and he's been cleaning up his act lately)

So, yesterday afternoon - just like every Saturday afternoon- I cleaned the communal areas of the apartment head to toe.  Derek only vacuumed, but he had back problems that day, so he was excused of duties.  But, after cleaning for about an hour and half, my roommates Paul and Andrew returned from studying at Caribou Coffee.  Now, an hour and a half of cleaning is not so bad, but it's what I was cleaning up that angered me.

I cleaned up wax and burnt paper from Andrew and Paul screwing around with candles.
I cleaned up powdered cherry drink from Paul.
I cleaned up oodles of dust, but that's just because of the opened windows and lack of ventilation.
I cleaned up grease that was splattered all over my rice cooker, presumably from Andrew not noticing or caring where their grease from the Forman Grille splatters.
I cleaned up water all over the counters from careless dish washers.
I cleaned up dishes that were still dirty after they were washed due to poor quality of dish washing.
I didn't clean the microwave, because I rarely touch the effing microwave and it was disgusting.
I didn't clean the stove because I'm sick and fucking tired of constantly cleaning it because no one can clean up after themselves.  I don't ever get anything all over the stove, so it's hard for me to imagine how much my roommates manage to dirty it so.
Last week I cleaned up dry eraser marker dust that was all over my nice coffee table... this took quite a while since it nearly stained the table.  I was then given the response of 'aw... sorry' with a slight chuckle revealing the lack of remorse on the part of the dust maker.

I mean, really all people need to do is clean up after themselves, a task I have never found even slightly difficult in all my twenty years of living.  Yes, it was a bit hard up until the age of six, but I managed this skill eventually.

And the excuse of not having enough time is incredibly insulting.  If you don't have enough time to clean up your breakfast mess in the morning, wake up the extra two minutes it requires to clean said mess up.  Also, I manage to clean up my own mess, and everyone else's while working, going to class, doing my homework, and tutoring - and I still have a little time for this blog, video games and pleasure reading.

I think it must really come down to selfishness.

So, back to my roommates' return yesterday.  Derek and I told them how we cleaned and we were met with the response 'it didn't need to be cleaned' and an utter confusedness as to why we could possibly be angry with them.  So, as usual I just bottled the anger and tried to distract myself with playing video games (I haven't really played any in three weeks).

But, that's not the point.

Derek and I wake up this morning (well... afternoon for me, I didn't quite feel like getting up due to a combination of pain and depression), and what are we greeted with this morning?  Crumbs all over the table and cereal clogging the sink.  How incredibly nice.  There are already crumbs on every surface I cleaned.  So, obviously Derek and I are fuming mad.  It's difficult to imagine that these people we live with are supposed to be our friends, since they obviously care little about us and do not respect us.  This has led Derek and I to want to find our own apartment - maybe with Adil if he wouldn't mind the commute.

So, that's all pretty stressful, right?  Besides my work, school, tests, tutoring and Nihongo Club (that I really have little time for now, all of a sudden) I have yet another stressor.  I have had an enlarged lymph node on the back of my upper, left neck for 8 weeks now.  I have an appointment with a surgeon for a consultation tomorrow.  It has shrunk a bit in the last two days, which worries me (because it shrunk before and then became huge).  This worries me, because I am having horrible migraines on that side of my head, including the lymph node, accompanied with horrible nausea.   I've grown accustomed slightly to the pain, but the pain killers available to me are ineffective, leaving me to just try and sleep it off.  

I'm worried about being told tomorrow that it's not too enlarged.  Last week it was huge, but the week before that it was about this size, and two weeks before that it was huge.  It seems to change - maybe it's stress related.  However, if that was the case it would be huge right now due to my highly stressful roommates.

Right now, as I type, Andrew is cooking on the Forman Grille.  What are the chances he will notice grease splattering all over my rice cooker?

At this point I'm pretty sure it's Paul's cereal clogging the drain, since Andrew just looked at it and said 'sick'.  Chances are we'll tell Paul about it and he'll never get around to cleaning it.  Just like last week within hours of my cleaning the apartment he came back and asked to use my rice and rice cooker.  I let him, but when I walked through the kitchen an hour later there was rice everywhere.  Once confronted Paul said he would clean it up, which he never did, and I eventually just gave up.

That really has become my attitude lately with them.  I just kind of say 'fuck it, I give up'.   They are slobs and probably will always be slobs.  I don't care if their feelings are hurt by this, because they obviously don't care about my feelings.

I'm just so incredibly pissed right now!  It's hard to think of anything else... :\  I guess I'll just go do some homework and slowly explode in anger.

I secretly hope something is wrong with this whole lymph node thing because I could use the vacation.

I just noticed this whole post was a bit of a bitch-a-thon.  I sort of feel bad, but not.  I actually feel more bad for those of you reading this, because it's probably not as interesting as my usual post - I had a whole other post planned for this weekend but I am just so frustrated.

I need another walk on the beach with Adil :P

7:09 PM

Bollywood etc...

Today in Buddhist Art and Architecture we started watching Asoka which is a fantastic Bollywood film.  Needless to say, I am thoroughly enjoying it.  I also learned that Urdu and Hindi are basically the same language, because I recognized and understood a few words here and there thanks to my brown friend Adil.


I have also decided that I need to be watching more Bollywood films, as I believe they portray the ideal life.

I'm super busy this week with work and a lot of Art History work, but hopefully this weekend I'll have time to elaborate on my crazy week...

I did watch Project Runway and was a little bit  disappointed in the lack of innovation.

For some reason I'm watching a weird show called 'Ace of Cakes' right now on the food network.... and it's freaking amazing.  I love cake... I love making cakes!

Today was the first meeting of the Japanese club at UIC.  It seems like it will be fun, except I gave up on the whole president thing, because the one incredibly obnoxious freshman (of whom I have mentioned before) would not let up... and I thought Anna deserved it more... and I did not want to have to work with that kid.  So, I settled for Vice President.  I hope it will still be fun.

Well... I'm having problems with my attention span right now because the TV is on and I should probably be doing work...

...ugh...expect a post sometime this weekend with something slightly more substantial.... I hope.

7:31 PM

Busy Weekend...

So, I went home last night to celebrate my mom's birthday and it was pretty fun.  Except, my mom decided to insult my religious beliefs/lack there of.  But I forgave her, because that's what Jesus would do.


Today I did some shopping, a little studying, and I just finished making dinner for me and my friends.  I ran to Dominick's with Andrew and Derek earlier to get ingredients... there was a great incident on the bus ride back:  Andrew got on the bus and saw a guy move in his seat and then said "Are you getting off soon".  He didn't realize how douche-baggy that sounded until after he said it.  The guy then replied "yes", got up and moved towards the door... except he wasn't getting off until two stops later.  Andrew then sat down and realized that he was a dick.  Then he brought it up every hour this evening and we laughed.

My food was pretty good....  we made a fancy-ish evening of it.  Enjoy the pictures.



This is the delicious meal I made with the help of my Sous Chef, Derek.  It's Basil Chicken Pasta.  It's composed of chicken, mushrooms, red peppers, and farfalle pasta... there's also a delicious sauce with parmesan cheese, cream, pepper, basil, and garlic...


This is Andrew.  He is enjoying the food I made with a funny face.  Laugh at him, it will make him feel uncomfortable... then remind him of that incident on the bus.



We drank out of slightly fancy glasses.  I had organic pomegranate soda!  It was delicious and interestingly colored (hot pink...)



We also had candles going.  It was romantic.

8:13 PM

I like to take photos...

I like to take photographs sometimes, who doesn't?  Here are some I stumbled on that I took at the Brookfield zoo last summer... these were my favorites from all of them.  I love Peacocks... probably contributes to my interest in Eastern Asian art...










Any comments?  I think I'm an okay photographer...  I still have the remnants of an artist in me I think.

5:16 PM

Free time...?

I have a strange amount of free time today...  I should have known I would have time today because I really don't have any class work due tomorrow... I just had sooo much due today!  I was working on a summary of Plato/Aristotle/Medieval philosopher mumbo-jumbo for my Art Theory class.


Even though I obviously don't like the subject matter right now of the class, I think eventually there will be a subject I'll get into.  I still love the class though - the discussion is entertaining and lively.  I'm also beginning to feel like I fit in more with the rest of the Art History children/adults...  It's really nice.  I felt like so much of a wallflower/outcast up until now.

I've also been thinking about my focus in Art History... I think I want to also do some popular culture research in comic books, video games, and Japanese Anime and Manga.  There isn't too much research in it... but there's more and more everyday on comic books and anime.  I haven't seen any Art Historical research on video games, yet, though.  Plenty of psychology research, though.  If anyone stumbles on anything, let me know.

I haven't watched the new Project Runway yet... but I'm going to at 8:00 tonight.  I think I might type live commentary as I watch... because I have nothing to do.

12:41 PM

Tattoos....

I'm very much considering getting a tattoo this February for my birthday...  I know, I know... it's permanent, unprofessional, and sometimes tacky, but I have an incredibly strong desire to ornament my body and most piercing look silly on me because i have a small face.  Thought about the nose ring thing for a while... But, I don't know.


As far as tattoos go I'm thinking either foot, or side of neck.  I want a sakura (cherry blossom) branch.  If on my foot, I'd want it to come down from my ankle and go across my foot, kind of like this person's:


However, I'd want the cherry blossoms in red... and maybe a darker brown for the branch... and slightly more stylized.  I really want to go all out and get my whole back or side done... but I thought it might be smarter to start smaller...

If on the side of my neck, I'd have the branch creep up my ear.  I thought it might be more subtle...  Both tattoo locations seem pretty painful, though, due to the lack of fat.

I really like this one... I would love to have something this big!


That's pretty.  I bet it's really expensive, though... :\  I don't know... I'm going to wait until February anyways, so I guess I have time to think about it...  But I want it nooow >-<

4:23 PM

Mmmm... Xbox 360

I finally bought an Xbox 360 yesterday.  I was going to wait a while and just buy it with my paychecks... but I have nothing to really do this long weekend, so I figured I would just dip into my loan.  It'll all be replaced within a month anyways....  It'll take that long because Derek (my boyfriend) and I decided on getting an elite.  Partly for the storage space, and partly because it is black, and black is much, much cooler.


Derek got Mass Effect and Command & Conquer 3:  Tiberia Wars.  I actually like C&C, I used to play Red Alert when I was younger.  Also, this game has nifty cut scenes with actors I recognize, which is incredibly weird... I even saw Lando today.  Not to mention my favorite fox from House.

I bought Viva Pinata, which is super cute and probably meant for children.  I actually had a lot of fun playing it though.

I'm just glad I finally got a next gen. console that has state of the art graphic capabilities.  I mean, the Wii is amazing and has such an innovative interface, etc... but.... let's face it - same graphics as the Gamecube.  S'okay for some games - wii fit and a lot of their cutsey games, but I sometimes want something more visually stimulating.

Derek also bought Halo for Xbox, because he hasn't ever gotten to play it and always loved the multiplayer when we used to go to friend's houses who had it in high school....  I'm hoping he reaches a stopping point soon because we need to go grocery shopping badly.  I'm making a chicken-pasta dish tonight and I need ingredients.  We're also out of soda and various other eat-ables.

...and I know if we wait too long we just won't go... and then what will I eat?...

I have a major craving for iced chai right now.  My friend, Adil was supposed to create a recipe for authentic iced chai, but I don't know if he ever got around to it.  He had a busy summer.  I could really go for some, though...  I'll probably just buy some black tea at Dominick's....

...If we ever go....

I love you Xbox 360, but you further distract my boyfriend from his priorities.

6:39 PM

Doing the Math...

Besides money worries, I am plagued slightly by time worries.  Here is the math of my 5-day week*:


5 days x 24 hrs/day = 120 hours
5 days x 8 hrs sleep/day= -40 hours
Hours of classes/week= -15.5 hours
Hours of Work/week= -17 hours
Hours of Tutoring/week= -4 hours
Hours Studying/week= -20 hours

TOTAL EXTRA TIME 23.5 hours

That's not so bad.  I'm not so worried after that.  That's 4.7 hours a day (in my 5 day week) that I have free to do as I please.  I do spend 2 hours getting ready/eating/studying in the morning... so maybe more like 2.7 hours free to cook, watch TV, play video games, etc...  I doubt I'll spend 20 hrs a week studying, too.  That's if I spend 4 hours a day approximately... which I rarely spend over 2.5.  I'm not really a studier.

Plus, I shouldn't forget the free time allotted by the weekend... the wonderful and merciless weekend.

2 days x 24 hrs/day= 48 hours
2 days x 10 hrs sleep/day= -20 hours
Total Free Time= ~28 Hours

That's pretty sweet.  That is ~14 hours a day I can spend gaming, surfing, studying, cooking, watching TV... pretty much anything I please.  I'm sure I'll get lazy during the week and most of my studying will pile up at this time.  At least I know my procrastinating and lazy ass well enough to plan for the eventual outcomes of said procrastination.... However, weeks when I have tests or papers do may be a bit suckier.  Yes, suckier.  I don't care if it's not a work.


*These are approximations.  Some weeks I may have more work, more studying, more tutoring, and perhaps less sleep.  And sometimes I will have those glorious weeks were I have lots, and lots of sleep.

4:13 PM

Stressful Adventures in Academia...

Well, the school year has started... and I'm working... and I begin tutoring next week.  I actually already have a student lined up.  I hope I don't disappoint.  I've been studying twice as hard as usual.


I guess I'll do a run-down of my classes:


Japanese 103:  Intermediate Japanese I

I always love this class, except for some of the characters that are in the class.  This semester we have a few crazy weeabos.  There's three of them really.  They apparently took Japanese at their high schools (something to me that seems crazy, since I grew up with poorly funded public school where our choices were normally French or Spanish).  Only one of the weeabos is very annoying - the other two are the passive and quiet type.  But this one guy.... oh this one guy... he's... quite the annoyance.  I think that's putting it nicely.  He interrupts everyone including the teacher and uses informal forms when apologizing and such...  At least he's got a good grasp on the language.  The other two not so much.  One of them speaks with an Italian accent in Japanese... which is just weird.  His last name is "Newyear" which is also just plain weird...

My kanji is going okay and I'm making a really lovely chart for review.  Hopefully my students might be able to use it.

However...  I still haven't bought the book for this semester so I'm a little stressed.  You see, I still haven't received my loan money, which should be processed by today at the latest according to my financial aid advisor.  I mean, the loan has gone through, the promissory note has been signed... what's keeping them?  Ugh...  I can't even eat.  I desperately need other books, too!

Which brings me to...


Art History 200:  Theories and Methods in Art History

This class has the best format - no tests and deep, philosophical discussions about material.  I'm so excited!  Except... today was incredibly embarrassing.  As I mentioned above, I haven't bought all my books yet - I'm just missing Japanese and this class' books.  So, we started discussion today, and it was only on FIVE pages!  I couldn't even read it.  I felt so incredibly depressed and horribly unprofessional.

The professor is amazing, though.  She really wants to help us all succeed in our careers as Art Historians.  I'm having a lot of my questions answered, and I can already feel like my writing is improving in the subject.


Art History 110:  Art Survey I

Well... it's an art survey.  A huge lecture with giant slides....  You know.  The professor is great though - he loves teaching and throws in little jokes here and there.  I enjoy Art Survey, though, because we get to see a whole lot of images which I can add to my mental collection that I can draw upon.  I mean, it is all from the Cannon of Art History after all.  Is that how you spell cannon?  I don't know.  I depend on dictionaries and spell check.

I haven't had my discussion for this class yet, but I'm really excited.  I hope my TA is amazing.  she kind of looks like a classic pin-up with Betty Paige hair.  Fingers crossed.  My last TA was pretty good... maybe not the best TA, but he was super cool (not to mention the fact he was pure eye candy).  I got an A in that class, so I'm sure it'll be no problem in this one.  I'm shooting for straight As again.


Art History 274:  Pre-Columbian Art of Mesoamerica

This class isn't really a strong interest of mine... but it's a high level, and therefore should be a challenge.  Also, the professor is one of the best in her field in the area.  She is also incredibly animated and passionate about the subject - so her passion is thusly transferred to me, the student.  I'm really enjoying this class so far... but I have so much reading everyday!


Art History 207:  Topics in Architecture, Art, & Design:  Buddhist Art & Architecture

This is my favorite class this semester by far.  I've always found the subject of Buddhism as incredibly fascinating... I'm completely engrossed in it!  I love the images, the stories.... and I'm completely Atheist...  Buddhism and Hinduism have some of the most interesting stories I've ever heard...  Also, another reason why I am so intrigued by this subject is because I intend to go into Eastern Asian art which is sometimes influenced by Buddhism...

...Plus I just love Buddhism anyways.


Well... hopefully things will look up soon.... I have my fingers crossed that I get my loan money in the next few days.  My list of things I need is piling up:

-Books for Japanese/AH 200.
-Xbox 360 (Elite)
-Some books (pleasure reading) by Neil de Grasse Tyson, Neil Gaiman, Richard Dawkins, etc...  And some Art books would be nice
-And of course:  Video games
-Oh... and food.  That would be nice.  Living on white rice is not that fun.  Though I did make a gourmet-style grilled cheese today.  It was garlic-y, cheesy, and delicious.

I've been working two weeks and am yet to be paid.  Apparently I don't get paid until next week when all the paperwork and whatever goes through.  This university is so inconvenient.  I bet they have inefficient workers.  If they cloned me they could make a work force probably a million times better... and I'm LAZY.

So... that's my life right now.  Hectic.  I probably have about 100 pages to read this weekend, maybe more.  I think on average I'll have 100-200 pages to read per week.  I might loose my mind, but I also might come out a more fulfilled, intelligent person.  I suppose it's worth the risk.

Oh, and I really want to see Burn After Reading and Hamlet 2.

8:07 PM

Daniel is Finally Gone!

If you haven't seen this week's Project Runway, do not read any further!


I am so glad he's gone.  I mean, I don't know his collection outside of the show, but he was a mediocre designer at best on the show.  He never rose to t
he challenges offered and took the easy way out way too many times.  Also, I found his personality (as presented on the show, not sure if they edited it this way) quite lackluster and pathetic.  The excuses drove me mad, and I believe he lacked taste at times.  He did start off okay I suppose.


I wish they would have eliminated him sooner - the last episode would have been nice.  I really liked Kelli, and I bet her drag queen outfit would have been to die for...  She might have even won this challenge!

Next, I want to see Keith eliminated I believe.  Since the second episode I've despised him almost.  I hate fringe!  It's so tacky unless it's on a flapper girl's costume.  I just can't believe he won the challenge in the last episode!  It was an utter travesty, really.  I don't think Brooke Shield's figure would be complimented by the shape he created.  Leatha' Stella and Jerell made a much more appropriate garment.  It was beautiful, and a true fusion of the two's talents.  Seriously, you judge:
Keith & Kenley's Garment - Nice figure, but I don't know if it's going to look so great on Brook Shields, the intended wearer.  All Keith uses is fringe, it's old and tired.  The colors are fantastic, but I'm sure that can be attributed to Kenley (who is DYNAMITE!).  The sleeve transition is pretty innovative, but that alone cannot carry an outfit.


Look at this - great figure, great length, very professional but still chic!  It's great!  It doesn't even need a transitional piece to take it from the office to the club.  The belt is an amazing touch and it manages to take colors and patterns that should clash and ties them together neatly!  Maybe a sweater or jacket would have helped - I don't think the sleeveless look would be good for Brooke Shields in the professional world... I don't know.

I la-la-loved tonight's episode though.  I have a very fond place in my heart for drag queens, and most of the costumes created were stunning and well thought out.  Except Keith and Daniel...  They were tiresome.



5:06 PM

Weird, but in a good way?

I'm usually kind of chipper, but lately I feel fully and completely content.  Now, maybe for a normal person this would be natural?  I don't know.  I'm not used to that smile-y feeling.  I feel almost like a different person.


Today I get to watch a whole lot of television!  I know it's the idiot box, but I still love it.  Fall season is coming up, and I'm excited!  Right now I'm just watching Project Runway and various re-runs of things - but in a few weeks I have House, Bones, Pushing Daisies, and Heroes, too!

I'll probably be too busy to watch much TV during the week soon, so I'm going to enjoy the laziness while I can.

I just can't wait until the school year gets under way.  I'm so excited to really get into my Art History classes.  It's strange how your dreams change - I am WAY more excited about this new dream, and much more motivated.  Every day I think of getting my PhD in Eastern Asian Art and becoming a  curator... maybe the president of the Art Institute of Chicago... I don't know.  I have big dreams and when I think of them I smile.

That's what I do on my mile walk to work every morning.  I think about Art History and I smile.  It's a lovely walk, too.  Through my new neighborhood - Little Italy.  The houses here are AMAZING.  There's a castle on Polk Street.

I want to live in the castle on Polk Street.

6:33 PM

Bloggity Blog...

My friend Adil started keeping a blog... I thought it might be a neat idea.  This way I get to type my day up once, and not have to annoy everyone by telling them all several times - as I often forget who I've gabbed to.


I am currently entering my junior year at the University of Illinois of Chicago as an Art History major.  Why UIC for an art history major?  Because I was originally a Pre-Med-er.  It wasn't exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, even though I have a great passion for genetics and other biological sciences.  I made the change last semester and am incredibly happy.  Since I am well skilled at my field of study, it leaves me a lot of free time - now I am able to have a job while attending school (for the paying of bills, school, textbooks, and an Xbox 360 :P).

What job have I requisitioned for myself?  I am the office assistant at the Center for Pharmaceutical and Biotechnology....  It pays well and is a lovely environment.  However, it is too much of a reminder of the path I was once on - a vile temptress if you will.  I am still a Biology major, but I know art history (and eventually museology) is the path for me.

It's a bit of a stressful job, as the previous assistant left quite a mess and was fired for filing the accounting wrong.  The accounting system is incredibly difficult for me, because my last job was at a small chamber of commerce in my hometown - they didn't have a complicated accounting system and it was very lax.  There is very little room for error in this new job, but plenty of opportunities to make errors.  Needless to say, I'm pretty stressed.

I adapt quickly, so I became used to the new system today and am hoping that I have everything right.  Today I became a little worried, though, because I am unsure as to whether I will be able to handle the stress of this job at the same time as my school work... and my tutoring.  I'm tutoring Japanese this semester 3 hours a week, also.

I want to sign up for another Art History class that I was finally let in today - AH 200.  It is the theories class, and is required to graduate.  It seems like it wouldn't be too difficult of a course, but then I would have 17 hours of coursework, 20 hours of work, and 3 hours of tutoring a week....  I don't know if my psyche could handle that.  I would snap like the tiny twig I am.

I'm going to ask one of my bosses tomorrow, though.  They had mentioned having me work just Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in the morning and afternoon.  If they will let me work Tuesday and Thursday afternoons I will not sign up for this class.... I really want to though....

At least my weekends will be free to watch TV, play video games, and study like crazy...